Of Fathers, Sons, and FIDO or How 8 pounds can change your life

We dropped Alex off this morning for his first day of preschool. Of course there were tears and refusing to let go, but eventually I got Christy calmed down and we left. It's hard to believe that I've been a dad for over two years now. In that short time I think I've learned a lot about fathers, what it takes to be a good dad, what to do about deadbeat dads etc.
To say that Alex was unplanned would certainly be accurate but if he was an accident it certainly was a serendipitous one. At the time Christy was finishing up her internship and looking for a full-time job. I was working as a cop in North St Louis. I was an adequate Officer, not great but not bad, but something was telling me this wasn’t for me. My heart wasn’t in it, I didn’t have the passion. And anyone who’s done Police work knows that without that passion one won’t make it as a Police Officer long.
It got to a point that I hated going to work. Just putting on my uniform made me mad and my days off were filled with dread at the thought of having to go back to work. One evening as I worked the desk at the North Patrol station I read an issue of Relevant Magazine. In it there was an interview with Mickey Rourke discussing how his faith had helped him overcome drugs and other self-destructive behaviors. He recalled sitting with his father on their front steps every Sunday morning as a child, talking about what they had learned in church that day. I realized that was what I wanted with my son.
Two things changed shortly thereafter; I left the PD and went back to church. After some painful adjustments in both areas of my life I’ve found a new church home and a new job. My family is now members of the Rock Church of St Louis, and we love it. Of course it’s not perfect (and no church is), It is an excellent place to raise a family. In fact at some point on Sunday morning Alex will now start screaming “Go Church Now!” sure he’s going to the nursery to play but seeing that kind of excitement about church from a two year old is pretty awesome to see, and I pray that excitement just continues to grow.
As for my new job, well that situation has been a little less rosy. I have to say that I don't really care for my new job. While that may sound like a kind of frying pan to fire situation I may need to explain it further. My job is menial, unrewarding, and unfulfilling. I do twice the work of others for no more pay (sometimes for less), and working hard and doing a good job has actually punished me in the past. In all a good day for me is one that goes by quickly, and at the end of the day I know that I’ve made no real difference in the world for my work. But there are some good things. First just to have a job that pays the bills is a blessing. Also I'm a supervisor so that is good resume fodder. But most importantly my schedule allows me to go back to school. So for any misery I might feel at work I know it is only temporary, “Just a passing note on a beautiful, beautiful chord”
That ultimately is what I believe it means to be a father, and perhaps even to be a man. Do what you don’t want to do just because it needs to get done. It don’t want to get up every day, work at a meaningless job for 8 hours, exercise, sleep for 4 hours, get up do schoolwork and housework for 4 or so hours until Christy and Alex get home all before I’m able to spend a couple hours enjoying my family, and then leave as soon as he's in bed to do it all over again. But I do it because it’s what needs to be done. Nike’s put it well in their “Just Do It” campaign, but  perhaps my beloved Drill Sergeant Conrad said it best as he used to tell us during basic training “FIDO” or “F*%# It Drive On”. It was this sage advice to simply keep moving, to keep driving on, don’t get hung up on anything else, just get the job done. It’s FIDO that keeps me going when I want to quit my job and do something more exciting and irresponsible, or when I’ve read page after page of text books and just want to watch TV, or when I’ve picked up the same toy or the same dish for the hundredth time and just want to leave it for my wife to pick up, or even when I’m running and my legs feel like they’re about to give out and I can’t go another step, FIDO!
And that brings us back to fathers, and my father to be specifically. If there’s one thing my dad taught me it was FIDO, although he would definitely never use those words. I’ve watched him over the years go every day to jobs he hated, sometimes two at a time. He’s spent hours upon hours preparing music for his church’s 4 services, all of which he does as an unpaid volunteer. And still he finds time to dote on his two grandkids, and of course spoil them terribly.
If that's not enough for you ask any Firefighter, Policeman, or even Medal of Honor recipient and they'll usually tell you the same thing, that they were just doing their job.  There is a line at the end of the movie Black Hawk Down in which Sgt (IDK) play by BORING WHITE DUDE says "Nobody plans on being a hero, just sometimes it works out that way". This would have been one of the corniest lines in movie history if not for the fact that the real life Ranger that character is based on ACTUALLY SAID IT FIRST. He didn't think he was doing anything heroic, he was just doing his job.
That is a lesson that I pray I pass on to my son; that one thing a man does is get the job done.