4 things every American knows about politics (but are completely wrong)

If you start to talk politics with a group of people you're bound to run into people who claim to be very politically astute, but clearly are morons, and people who will tell you that they don't "know much 'bout them politics" until you hit on a particular issue or idea that they are sure they've mastered. While they'll freely admit they don't know whether farm subsidies are a good are a bad thing, they'll know exactly how taxes should be handled or what the true intent of the 2nd amendment was. While these people often make for entertaining Presidential candidates they can be absolutely infuriating to talk to. So here are 4 things that almost every American (on both sides of the aisle) are absolutely sure of, but are obviously wrong.

The government should be transparent.
During his campaign there was one promise that President Obama made that always disturbed me; that his administration would operate with more transparency. It was full of good intentions to be sure, if you're doing things right, then you've nothing to hide, let the people see how their government is working for them, etc. But perhaps he had forgotten the old adage that "there are two things you never want to see being made; laws and sausage".
Yes Washington is full of smoke-filled backroom where deals are made; because that's the way it has to be. When Congress debated healthcare on TV nothing got done, the Representatives posed and preened for the cameras and stuck to talking points that their constituents wanted to hear. Their main job was to try and use that as a stage earn votes. But when the cameras were turned off and the doors were shut a deal got made.
Because in those backrooms they are free to make deals that the "folks back home" may not like, but that they know are best for the country. When we free politicians to do what they think is best, and not what they think will get them reelected they are able to do amazing things. Besides it's not like they're some kind of secret Illuminate/Freemason/Pentavirate meetings in there.

there's a reason those rooms are always smoke filled

Campaigns are dirtier now than ever before.
Everyone always complains about the political ads during campaign season. We laud candidates who run "clean" campaigns, yet every election almost every candidate will run some attacks ads. Why? Because they always have.With the Supreme Court ruling that "corporations are people too" and money rolling into PACs and Super PACs which candidates can officially distance themselves from, attack ads are bound to find new teeth.But this kind of dirty politics is nothing new. When Andrew Jackson ran for President his opponents went so far as to attack his wife's virtue; something that was perhaps a bad idea given Jackson's penchant for dueling.

And then there's Abraham Lincoln, who's opponents said that if he was elected the country would be split in half. That is one campaign promise a bunch of losers actually kept

High voter turnout is a good thing.
Every election is full of new voter registration drives and of course the ubiquitous MTV Rock the Vote! All in an effort to get more people in the US to vote. Why? Because it's our civic duty to vote, if we care about the future of our country we'd participate in the process. Still the US has atrocious voter turnout. We should be ashamed, I mean even in Iraq where people risk being killed just for showing up at the polls they have 62% voter turnout. And do you know why turnout is so much higher in Iraq? Because Iraq sucks.

Americans by in large don't vote simply because they don't care enough to make it down to the polls. Are they lazy, apathetic, or generally indifferent? Probably, but most importantly they're relatively comfortable. People vote more when they're unhappy with the current government; people show up in droves to vote in Iraq because they're sick and tired of being blown up just for voting.
So when you're lazy friend can tear themselves away from their all-day Game of Thrones marathon to be bothered with voting don't think of it as slothfulness, think of it as a vote of approval.

The founding fathers knew what they were doing.
Whenever you feel yourself losing a debate on politics just throw out a "That’s how the founders wanted it". It doesn't really matter what the topic or which side you're taking at some point one of the "founding fathers" said or wrote something that could be interpreted as agreeing with your point of view.
And there's the first problem with using anything they said; they fought and bickered with each other and disagreed on some pretty major issues.

Franklin you were a genius

Of course if two people on opposite sides of a debate both quote founders you must refer to the founding fathers' quotation table. Each founder is listed in descending order, thereby trumping the founder's below quote.
Washington
Jefferson
Adams
Franklin
Paine
A Washington quote is the ultimate trump, although unless you're debating the proper way a gentleman should be seated when in the presence of a lady, good luck.
Ultimately the problem with the founders is that they were just men. They weren't perfect or divine. They didn't possess some kind of wisdom that has been lost to the ages. They were smart, they were driven, they were steadfast, and they were flawed. Besides the obvious issue of slavery these were men how believed women should hold a secondary status to men, and thought powdered wigs looked good.
Are they a good starting point? Yes, just as they used the writings of Locke and Bacon and built on them we too and take what our founders said build a 'more perfect union' upon those foundations. And that IS how the founders wanted it when they built a living constitution that could be amended as our society progressed.

The Hunt For A Talking Dog:

Searching for a spirit guide without losing you soul

Go to most churches today and you'll hear a word being used quite often "discipleship". I think the official church rules have said to replace "evangelism" and "conversions" to "discipleship" or "making disciples" and personally I think that's a great thing. If you're not sure what discipleship means think of mentors but with a spiritual focus. This shift in focus is much more about creating deeply rooted and faith-fill believers instead of simply trying to get as many numbers in the seats and down the aisle as possible.

For new believers the process is pretty straight forward. A Christian friend has built a relationship with you, shared their faith, and guided you in your own decision to follow Jesus. That person is well suited to be your discipler and presumably will do so. But what about for someone who has been a believer for some time but is new to the idea of discipleship? Who should disciple them? Sure in some cases there may be an obvious choice but most of us have more peer relationships and very few intimate relationships with our elders.

The task of finding a discipler seems overwhelming to be sure, so to help me I've come up with 4 key attributes that I feel a mentor of mine should possess; hopefully this will help to narrow the list down some.

They must have childlike faith. Someone whose beliefs are muddled down in arcane theological riddles can teach me far less than someone who loves God and loves his neighbor. While academic knowledge of the divine is definitely useful, what I am looking for is someone who has "walkin' around faith", someone who's relationship with the creator of the universe is real and tangible in their everyday life and not just something to be discussed when you feel the urge to wax philosophic.

They must have a Godly family. Perhaps the hardest challenge I have faced thus far in my life is being a husband and a father. This is an area I am bound to fail in time and time again, and I certainly could use some sage guidance in this area. While no man is perfect, someone who has learned from their mistakes and will guide me away from those same pitfalls could be a blessing to my whole family.

They must be stalwart. In the past I've had issues with sticking with things; I'd quit jobs, school, relationships whenever they became too hard. What I need is someone who can be an example of what it means to work hard, someone to inspire me when I feel I can't do anymore.

They must be driven. I am a man of ideals, passions, and dreams. What I lack is the drive to see those things through. My discipler should be someone who not only dreams big, but dreams out loud. Someone who would do the things I only dare to dream of.

Anyone know Bear's number?

Still, how do I find this person? I've narrowed it down a bit, but it's still too many to choose from. Most likely you've heard tales of Native American spirit quests in which a young man would go into the wilderness and meditate day and night until his spirit guide (often in the form of an animal) presented itself to him. Perhaps they were onto something there, perhaps instead of relying on my own decision making abilities I should rely on God's. I should fast and meditate and pray day and night until God provides me with a spirit guide. Jehovah Jirah can provide for more than my physical needs, He can provide the relationships I need to guide me closer to Him.

Things to do when I'm dead

There is a new company out called Holy Smokes who will help your loved ones to remember you in a very unique way. They will take your ashes and form them into a fully functioning bullet. When I first heard about this I thought "what a great idea!"

Imagine this:You've been killed by a band of murderous desperados and your only son has sworn vengeance on the culprits. HE's tracked them down, killing them off one by one until he finally has the leader cornered in an abandoned mill. He lies on the ground, already shot once in the stomach, begging your son for mercy. Your son steps closer and leans over the bandit, raising his pistol. The man feverishly begs for forgiveness, you son cocks the hammer looking the bandit in the eyes; "Forgiveness is between you and my father, I'm just here to arrange the meeting". He pulls the trigger and a bullet containing your very ashes tears through the bandit's skull, killing him instantly.

Of course if you die from something more mundane the Holy Smokes bullets may prove much less practical (it is rather difficult to shoot heart disease in the face). Of course there are plenty of other ways to be remembered that I find much less tasteful; the "in memory of" stickers on cars, memorial pages on Facebook, etc. I not going to argue the merits of these "memorials" but did you mean to equate the memory of a loved one with your support of a politician that's not quite as bad as the other guy, or your enjoyment of watching Calvin pee on various makes of cars? I won't even get into what happens when you sell the car or trade it in, but there was a time when loved ones would "go into mourning".

 A widowed spouse seen dressed in anything in black, or even out of their house within a month of the love-one's passing would have been ostracized in polite society.Perhaps the problem is that we do not properly know how to publicly grieve for those we have lost. While I cannot speak for all I know how I wish to be remembered so here are some helpful tips to prevent me from haunting your car.

Black Armbands:
I'm not sure there's a more classy way to show you're in mourning. It's simple and almost elegant. Of course you should probably be wearing a suit with a fedora when you wear it, but we should probably bring those back anyway.

Plant a Tree:
What says "your memory will live on" more than planting a tree? Those things can live for hundreds of years, long past your descendants.

Name Something After Me:
Of course you'll need it to be something that will be around for a while, don't name your goldfish after me. I was thinking more along the lines of a building, or a city or something. The star registry would be a good move, but most of them are hoaxes and most of those stars are already dead. If you can manage to discover something that would be an excellent opportunity (while I'd stay away from diseases and disorders, spelunking offers much that is still undiscovered and waiting to be named).

Commission a Work of Art:
My aunt and uncle have a painting hanging in their dining room. It is a portrait done by Don Teimeir of their son Michael who passed away shortly after he was born. Besides being a beautiful painting it is a beautiful way to remember Michael. It will be a family heirloom passed down for generations, ensuring that Michael will never be forgotten.As a matter of personal preference I'm hoping for a giant statue looming over the city in my honor.

Get a Tattoo:

Obviously this isn't for everyone, but if you've ever thought to yourself "I'd really like to get a tattoo, but I don't know what of" here's your chance. It'll be meaningful and doubtfully you'll ever end up regretting it. And the variations here are endless, from simply getting their name to an elaborate design.


Start a Charity or Scholarship:
I believe that the measure of a man's life is how much better the world is for him having lived in it. Talk about a legacy; people you don't know, generations after you've passed, could have their lives touched because of you.

Complete a Quest:
I'm going to fill you in on a little secret; this one will be in my will. After my funeral pyre has died down to a smoldering hill, one or more of my loved ones will gather my ashes and spread them at predetermined places around the world. Of course this won't be spelled out precisely; they will be given clues to complete their quests. The locations won't be easy to get to either, but the sacrifice of the journey will be a memorial in itself. And the memory of the time they trekked through the Andes Mountains or sailed on the Indian Ocean will help to keep the memory of myself alive.

Whatever you do, remember that the goal is to honor the dead not popularize them. It doesn't matter how many "likes" you get on Facebook or how many people see your bumper sticker, it doesn't change the significance, or lack thereof of the life that was lost. Ultimately we should do our best to live lives that the deceased would be proud to know are being lived in their honor.

An open letter to the rioters of England

Dear English rioters;
This certainly has been a crazy week. A lot of people have done a lot of talking, but I really wonder who's listening. Obviously there are two sides to every story and while you're trying to have your side heard please remember that there is another side to the story surrounding Mark Duggan's death and perhaps we would all be better served to withhold judgment until we have more substantiated facts than the rumors that he was killed "execution style".
I am not from Tottenham and know little about Tottenham other than that your soccer team sucks. But it seems to be widely accepted that there have been tensions brewing between the Police and the youth of the area for some time now. I do not know the facts and wouldn't pretend to be able to intelligently argue the realities of police abuse. I do question if your outrage, even over the death of Mr. Duggan is worth the lives of Haroon Jahan, Shahzad Ali, and Abdul Musavir. And if your message is that you are tired of harassment by the police when you have done nothing wrong; is the best way to send that message by destroying your own neighborhood?
And more to that point; the moment you smash a store window and take a TV you are no longer protestors, you are vandals and thieves. Youth of England you are not alone in this; during the Los Angeles riots of 1992 people supposedly "protesting" the Rodney King verdict looted and ransacked local shops. And perhaps most tragically in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina cameras caught people wheeling entire racks of CD's out of a store.
While I feel for those of you who are trying to peacefully give a voice to those who feel oppressed, the rest of you are not protestors or activists fighting for your freedom, you are hooligans and thugs pillaging from your own people.
But it's been a week now and things seem to be quieting down. And that's a good thing because the EPL season starts this weekend. So we call all go back to the peace and harmony that comes with English soccer.


* After posting this I discovered this video which perhaps says it all better than I did. Good on ya lady.

5 Reason why working overnight is awesome:

I've recently started working overnights again. It's been a while since I've done it but I'm glad to be back. There are definitely some disadvantages, lack of sleep, my wife having to sleep alone, increased caffeine intake, but there are some definite advantages to working graveyards. Here are just a few of the highlights of working the nightlife

Freedom:
This is probably the biggest one, it's the reason I took the night shift. I wanted to go back to school and by working at night I can take day or evening classes and adjust my sleep schedule accordingly. This flexibility of time is the freedom most people think of for the night crew, but have you ever been in a building after hours? Those people get away with everything. Take a night janitor for example; chances are they're walking around doing their job while listening to their headphones and sometimes even with a portable radio on their cart. Try doing that during the day, if they aren't allowed to do their job and vacuum properly because it might disturb others think there's any chance blaring music is gonna fly?
More than that though there is the freedom from the constant watching eyes of supervisors. Most night crews are pretty much left to do what they want, as long as everything is in order when the bosses show up in the morning no one really cares what they did. It's not quite like being your own boss but it may just be the next best thing.

Traffic:
I head to work around 0830pm and come home around 0530am. Neither of those times see much heavy traffic so my commute is relatively quick and painless. Compare that to the average 9-5er who has to fight rush hour traffic and leave for work sometimes hours early just to get there on time. Of course this saves you some very precious time and even just 15 minutes twice a day 5 days a week for 50 weeks a year will add up (if you don't want to take the time to do the math that come out to just over 5 days a year).
But there are other benefits of an easier commute. Our jobs are often stressful, even seemingly easy jobs can bring all their own kinds of anxiety with them. Now imagine you've just spent 45 minutes in stress-inducing traffic before you get there. You've handicapped yourself before you've even started; it's like emptying half of your gas tank before a race. You're just making it harder on yourself and it doesn't make any sense, unless of course you're just so amazingly awesome that you need to kneecap yourself just to keep your coworkers from looking like semi-sentient arthropods by comparison.

Food:
Despite what you may have heard working overnight does not mean that your only available means of sustenance are Doritos and Mountain Dew. Yes I do consume a much higher volume of caffeinated beverages now but there are plenty to choose from; soda, coffee, energy drinks, and even healthy choices like tea. Although the drink I would most recommend would be plain old ice cold water. It helps to keep you alert and hydrated without all of the crap in most caffeinated drinks.
Then there is the issue of meals. There is no reason that you can't eat a salad during you lunch break at 2am just like you would at 12pm. The advantage comes in the morning. When I was a cop I loved working the overnight shift for a variety of reasons, but one of my favorites was breakfast at Mississippi Mud House. The Mud House is a great little coffee shop near my old place in Benton Park. Almost every morning when I worked nights I would stop there and get a sausage crescent and a chocolate milk and just relax before heading home to bed. It was delicious food made fresh and perfect at the end of a long hard day. The best breakfasts usually are the hardy ones intended to fill you up for the day, but since most of us don't have time in the morning before work we end up eating a bowl of cold cereal and some coffee and hope for the best. But not the children of the night they get those great breakfast foods at the end of their day when they have the time to enjoy it.
Mississippi Mud House isn't exactly on my way anymore, but in a pinch the breakfast sandwiches at QT are pretty darn delicious and they're usually just putting them on the rack as I'm headed for home.

Pity or envy:
Tell someone that you work the night shift and you're bound to get one of two reactions; pity or envy. Some people will feel so sorry for you and assume you're constantly sleep-deprived and one more Dorito away from a heart attack. Others will tell you how jealous they are of you, assuming you do nothing but sleep at work and that it's surely the easiest job in the world.
While neither of these are correct they can work to your advantage. Play pity right and it will turn into sympathy which will get you what you want. Play envy right and it will turn in to admiration, which will get you what you want.

You'll feel like Batman:
When I was a cop I liked to have a cigarette before I left for work, so I would go onto the balcony in back of my apartment and light one up. There I stood looking out over the dark city, my hand resting on my utility belt, preparing to prowl the shadows searching for evil-doers. I was Batman! Now my job is much less heroic, but there is still a certain amount of Batmanishness to any overnight job.
Most people work 9-5 and couldn't handle the graveyard shift, but not Batman he is elite he can do it and so can you. But more importantly Batman did what needed to be done but no one else would do. He fought crime by any means necessary and did the ugly things that the respectable citizens of Gotham did not want to even know about. Think about the jobs that happen in the middle of the night; emergency personnel, trash men, janitors, security. The good people of the daytime hours don't want to do those jobs, often they don't want to even be reminded that those jobs need to be done. Just like Batman, the night-worker does their job unseen and thankless except for the knowledge that they have made the daylight world a little better for doing so.

Of Fathers, Sons, and FIDO or How 8 pounds can change your life

We dropped Alex off this morning for his first day of preschool. Of course there were tears and refusing to let go, but eventually I got Christy calmed down and we left. It's hard to believe that I've been a dad for over two years now. In that short time I think I've learned a lot about fathers, what it takes to be a good dad, what to do about deadbeat dads etc.
To say that Alex was unplanned would certainly be accurate but if he was an accident it certainly was a serendipitous one. At the time Christy was finishing up her internship and looking for a full-time job. I was working as a cop in North St Louis. I was an adequate Officer, not great but not bad, but something was telling me this wasn’t for me. My heart wasn’t in it, I didn’t have the passion. And anyone who’s done Police work knows that without that passion one won’t make it as a Police Officer long.
It got to a point that I hated going to work. Just putting on my uniform made me mad and my days off were filled with dread at the thought of having to go back to work. One evening as I worked the desk at the North Patrol station I read an issue of Relevant Magazine. In it there was an interview with Mickey Rourke discussing how his faith had helped him overcome drugs and other self-destructive behaviors. He recalled sitting with his father on their front steps every Sunday morning as a child, talking about what they had learned in church that day. I realized that was what I wanted with my son.
Two things changed shortly thereafter; I left the PD and went back to church. After some painful adjustments in both areas of my life I’ve found a new church home and a new job. My family is now members of the Rock Church of St Louis, and we love it. Of course it’s not perfect (and no church is), It is an excellent place to raise a family. In fact at some point on Sunday morning Alex will now start screaming “Go Church Now!” sure he’s going to the nursery to play but seeing that kind of excitement about church from a two year old is pretty awesome to see, and I pray that excitement just continues to grow.
As for my new job, well that situation has been a little less rosy. I have to say that I don't really care for my new job. While that may sound like a kind of frying pan to fire situation I may need to explain it further. My job is menial, unrewarding, and unfulfilling. I do twice the work of others for no more pay (sometimes for less), and working hard and doing a good job has actually punished me in the past. In all a good day for me is one that goes by quickly, and at the end of the day I know that I’ve made no real difference in the world for my work. But there are some good things. First just to have a job that pays the bills is a blessing. Also I'm a supervisor so that is good resume fodder. But most importantly my schedule allows me to go back to school. So for any misery I might feel at work I know it is only temporary, “Just a passing note on a beautiful, beautiful chord”
That ultimately is what I believe it means to be a father, and perhaps even to be a man. Do what you don’t want to do just because it needs to get done. It don’t want to get up every day, work at a meaningless job for 8 hours, exercise, sleep for 4 hours, get up do schoolwork and housework for 4 or so hours until Christy and Alex get home all before I’m able to spend a couple hours enjoying my family, and then leave as soon as he's in bed to do it all over again. But I do it because it’s what needs to be done. Nike’s put it well in their “Just Do It” campaign, but  perhaps my beloved Drill Sergeant Conrad said it best as he used to tell us during basic training “FIDO” or “F*%# It Drive On”. It was this sage advice to simply keep moving, to keep driving on, don’t get hung up on anything else, just get the job done. It’s FIDO that keeps me going when I want to quit my job and do something more exciting and irresponsible, or when I’ve read page after page of text books and just want to watch TV, or when I’ve picked up the same toy or the same dish for the hundredth time and just want to leave it for my wife to pick up, or even when I’m running and my legs feel like they’re about to give out and I can’t go another step, FIDO!
And that brings us back to fathers, and my father to be specifically. If there’s one thing my dad taught me it was FIDO, although he would definitely never use those words. I’ve watched him over the years go every day to jobs he hated, sometimes two at a time. He’s spent hours upon hours preparing music for his church’s 4 services, all of which he does as an unpaid volunteer. And still he finds time to dote on his two grandkids, and of course spoil them terribly.
If that's not enough for you ask any Firefighter, Policeman, or even Medal of Honor recipient and they'll usually tell you the same thing, that they were just doing their job.  There is a line at the end of the movie Black Hawk Down in which Sgt (IDK) play by BORING WHITE DUDE says "Nobody plans on being a hero, just sometimes it works out that way". This would have been one of the corniest lines in movie history if not for the fact that the real life Ranger that character is based on ACTUALLY SAID IT FIRST. He didn't think he was doing anything heroic, he was just doing his job.
That is a lesson that I pray I pass on to my son; that one thing a man does is get the job done.